"Life is too short not to enjoy it,"

He said as he walked out of bedroom yesterday morning. And that is all I can think about since then. Bart and I were talking about me quitting my job. The only reason that I do not do just that today is…….well, did I say the only reason? Let me make a list.

• I carry the health insurance for the family, however, a lot of companies out there will provide that to me and my family.
• I have 8 years of seniority and 6 weeks of paid time off this year. I will lose this.
• Bart has a spending problem and I enable us to easily maintain a 401K account and also I make enough supplemental money that budgeting can be one of the littlest, teeniest items on my priority list.
• I do realize that one of the perks of my job is VERY FLEXIBLE hours. Yes, I may have to work in the middle of the night but I also drive my child to school at 9 am and then take Cooper up to Grandma every day. This is not an 8 to 5 job. Sometimes it is a 10 to 3 job.
• I am scared shitless of change.
• I am scared shitless of making a decision.
• Finally, and don’t let me sound too bitter when I say this, I don’t have much faith in my own feelings when making this kind of decision having some sort of a depression/anxiety problem. So, when I say I hate going to work, I wonder--and I remember wondering this same thing at the last job I had—I wonder am I unhappy because of this job or is this misery internal.

So, I am approaching this rationally.

• Yesterday I made a list of all the things I would like to see done (with my money) before I give it up. That made me think this might take place next year instead of next month. And I haven’t even let Bart add his two cents to it yet.
• I also talked to HR and found out that COBRA insurance is $1100 a month for my family. Wow! Truly, I don’t think that I can remain a SAHM (in September my baby goes to kindergarten so it would be a childless SAHM) without some sort of a job and so I might as well find something that offers insurance but I definitely had in mind a 4 or 5 month sabbatical before I put my nose to the grindstone again.
• Finally, I got an appointment and went to the doctor and renewed the magic pill subscription. I needed this anyways but I could feel the anxiety setting up camp at my doorstep as I even considered making this big of a change in my life. And it was an 8 man tent that he pitched.
  
  So, truly if nothing else comes of this, hurray! for me for getting to the doctor.