Monday, October 17, 2005

His and Hers

Well, we did it. I say we because apparently the organ in question is truly the property of us both. I never recieved the certificate of title of the aforementioned organ when I first married the man but at least in the state of Utah I am the property owner. So I don't know what the big deal was with Lorena Bobbitt, that's for sure.

The urologist was very cool. He came in and asked how we were. "Are you ready for this?"

Bart replied quickly, "Oh yes. It's time."

Dr Gange looked at me. "And you?"

"Well, I am here, aren't I?" I had already starting seeping out my eyes in the waiting room. I didn't want to start again. I wasn't quite sure why I was seeping. I think it was finality of it all more than wanting to have another baby.

"Does that mean that you are 100% ready for Bart to do this? Because until you say that to me I won't do the surgery. I can turn around and walk right out of this room and it won't bother me a bit."

"Well, I have 20 more ejaculations to figure out if I want another baby." I explain as he looks at me straight on.

"Not good enough. You two shouldn't be here if there is any chance that you want another baby. I've walked out of the room before. The couple wasn't ready to make this decision and so we didn't do it. It's no big deal."

Bart pipes up, "We already have 3 wonderful and healthy children. We're good."

"The couple that I walked out on had 6 kids already."

I guess I was waiting for lightning to strike, an angel to appear, me to throw up with the anxiety of the decision but nothing happened. Nothing. I was not even seeping. I looked at Bart and knew he had thought this through. Nobody shaves their pubic area without thinking it through beforehand. Oh, the itching. Seriously, I saw no indecision in his eyes. And he is half of this partnership. And for all my rational and logical thinking I know deep in my heart I still have 20 ejaculations left. It has only taken one every other time. IF there is another one that is supposed to come down to our family there is still that opportunity.

So I had to say "No, I am good with this decision. Let's do it."

And then I had to sign the paper with the doctor as a witness stating that I was "allowing" Bart to cut and cauterize the ends of "our" vas deferens. BTW, Bart had to sign it as well.

1 comment:

Jen said...

Wow, I'm amazed and impressed that they made you sign it too and that they took your feelings into so much consideration.

But I'm sorry-- I know it's hard. I haven't been able to take that step yet or to ask Dereck to. I have an IUD.