My Party Invite List

I definitely have a disconnect somewhere.

This weekend we went to go see a movie: Pirates but couldn't get in for 5 hours so we settled for Click. It was pure Adam Sandler formula movie. Crude, rude and then a touching little message under all the humping and the boob jokes. It was a "Family comes first" and "Love rules" kind of message. Not a necessarily new message. However, I am in the midst of the life struggle just like everyone else. I am amazed at how many things are out there that do try to destroy family. Sometimes daily, I feel like I do battle for my family unity. Whether it be to get my son off the computer so we can have a conversation, motivating my daughter to clean up our house, our family "retreat" that should be kept up, working with my husband to live in the present and not put all his eggs in the investment basket or even fighting myself to settle down and play a meaningless game with the baby instead of trying to get something on my list done. And most of the time, I feel like I am the only one trying to make sure there is some family unity. That makes me battle weary.
Upon reflection, I appreciate that Adam Sandler with all his crudeness makes it a point to laud the importance of the familly. The thing that worries me: It took me two hours to open up and let these actors into my heart to the point that I was completely engulfed in the make believe story with scripted actors. And I was bawling. Crying. Weeping. Sobbing. Tears were welling up and making their way over the tear duct barricades and making their way down my cheeks in waves. They issued a flood warning in theater 9. I wanted to run back home and lay in my bed and give way to hysterics but that simply did not do for a Frirday night. So I buttoned it up and we went to Iggy's for nachos.
So. So what? It doesn't bother me (too much) that I get all gooey and mushy over fake people in movies, in sitcoms (friends), in books (Jamie and Claire). What does bother me is that over this same weekend a neighbor woman and I were chatting-- I really like this lady. She has her head on straight, her kids are excellent, brings interesting conversations to the soccer field sidelines and I like her laugh-- chatting about exercising. When she asked me if I wanted to walk with her everyday I immediately froze up inside, got scared, felt anxious, didn't want to ruin our easy acquaintance for the chance of a good friendship. How messed up is that?

Apparently, I will be inviting Adam Sandler and Ross Geller to my next birthday because I will have no real life friends to invite.